Where do you turn for comfort when you have lost a loved one? It is of paramount importance that you embrace the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit (2Timothy 3: 12 and Acts 14:22)

What you don't overcome will overcome you no matter how small. When my dad passed away we were too young to understand the loss, we only felt the gap because we had a mum who served with dedication, distinction and selflessness in various capacities. She became our best friend; she provided like a father and made
unselfish decisions for us, so we could have a normal life. Then in 2008 the woman who was at the centre of our existence was gone. I was frustrated, angry, and bitter and all this was towards God, l felt my anger was justified. For anyone who has ever loved and been close to anyone, it's hard to be separated by distance and circumstances and then lose that person before you have had a reunion.

There were so many issues surrounding this that I thought the Lord knew and He would take these things into consideration before taking my mum. God knew the last time I saw her, He knew it was cancer that was going to take her life, He knew the last conversation I had with her on the phone was with her screaming in pain. She was suffering and I knew she was dying. l will never forget that day because she did not speak a word she only screamed. We remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our loved ones. The only reason why she was still breathing and screaming in pain 24/7 and with the poorest quality of life was our selfishness because we kept on praying for her to live. Our prayers and our faith were holding her even after she had been saying “I’m ready to go home”, “I’m in so much pain”, “l want to go home and rest” - we didn’t want to let go. On the 23rd April 2008, we prayed and released her and that was the day she passed on. The honest truth is, it became so hard for me to lift my hands and sing “He has done great things” when one of the things He had just taken was my mum. We loved our mum so much and we never got the chance to thank her for all the sacrifices she made and the tremendous courage she displayed in raising us, she made motherhood look so simple and sweet.

I stopped coming to church, which was spiritual suicide. I failed to realise that as a child of God shakings are inevitable. My commitment, changed which changed my focus, character, and purpose. I started to get into bad relationships. I avoided Christians before they could say she grieves like ‘she is the first person to lose both parents’. I understand that there are other people who have lost both their parents when they were young. Young or old, it's still painful. I missed the opportunity to grieve when l should have because I was so desperate to shroud the pain. I found myself in the wrong company, which was providing the comfort I felt I needed. I thank God for the V2V intercessory team and Rev. Mary who loved me and prayed me back to God.

Now this was how the devil used my grief case; I knew that I had been sinking deeper and deeper into my despair, I knew something had to change. I was doing things which appeared correct but without the hand of Christ in it.

Whilst grieving will always be so many untold chapters and stories, but l encourage you to cry out to God, for there is always a message of hope and comfort, if you know who your God is. The Lord sought to reveal Himself to me and my family during the grief case, even through our deepest sorrow. He sought to reveal His peace which is what we needed. God showed us comfort and reassurance. We had to make the decision to get rid of all bitterness and empty all the contents of our grief case so He could be our Jehovah Jireh, our provider.

We got rid of self-pity and realised that when our saved loved ones die we shall be reunited with them again. We realised that God's timing is always perfect and there was no way that we would have wanted our mum to miss her destiny with God. We came to realise that carrying the grief case all the time meant we would not appreciate all the good things that the Lord had for us.

I would like to encourage anyone who is still walking around with his or her grief case to put it down. Calm seas never make skill-full sailors and the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well. So grief is part of life; we grieve and move on because the enemy would desire to sift us during this season but when we overcome we should strengthen our brethren.

I now have new desires, new purposes and new motives, I have cried out with David in Psalms 139:23 “test me O God and know my heart…” and for God to create in me a clean heart Psalm 51:10, which is something that I would never have prayed whilst my mum was still alive. We thought it was her duty but now that she has gone. I now know how to get down on my knees for myself and cry out to God. I now know how to fast and pray, which I didn’t realise I had learnt from my mum until she was gone.

”I’ve never seen the righteous being forsaken or his seed begging bread”. All you have to do now is to trust Him with your grief case by laying it down. It won't be easy to let go of, and you may find yourself crying sometimes but now without bitterness or anger.

The devil will always find an opportunity to knock at your door in an attempt to get you to doubt who God is, but its time to ask Jesus Christ TO GET THE DOOR whilst you focus on your prayer life, bible study, witnessing and fellowship with God.

I hope this will help you to work out how much of your grief case you are still holding on to and how much of it you have committed to God. May the Father who loves, comfort us in our grief and help us to work out our salvation untill we leave for eternity with Him in heaven in Jesus' name.

With love in the matchless name of Jesus Christ,
Joyce Sithole