If we have learnt anything from Hollywood’s depiction of marriage, it is that after being proposed to in the most overtly romantic way possible all girls should look forward to is the magical day where they are finally betrothed to the love of their lives. The blushing bride, a vision of perfection will elegantly stride down the aisle in the finest flowing silk gown to her dashing prince charming where he will scoop her in his arms after exchanging heartfelt vows. Subsequently, they will live happily ever after, in marital bliss, never tiring of each other’s gaze. It sounds exceedingly romantic right?

This is the idealization that multitudes of young women across the world are being fed, to the point that they will go to great lengths to live out their fantasies. Worryingly, many young women are joining mail order bride sites in hopes that their aspirations will be met, only to be faced with harsh reality. There has been an increase in the popularity of websites where young women, particularly in South-East Asia are advertised as brides for Western men. One must question however, why these sites are becoming so popular besides the prominence of technology such as the internet, which allows the entire world to be interwoven with ease.

In order to understand why women are so willing to join these sites, we must first acknowledge their living conditions. Often when these women have grown up in rural areas, they lack the proper education required to acquire jobs that will support their impoverished families. In some areas, women are forced to survive on less than £1.70 a day, leaving them with no choice but to turn to prostitution in local red-light districts. This is not an appealing option as stories of kidnappings and even murders of vulnerable young girls are not unheard of in such areas.

Regardless, many young girls are left with no other means to support their households. It is no wonder that countless young women have turned to mail order bride sites which seem to offer a glimmer of hope to these young girls. After all, who couldn’t resist the possibility of travelling to a new foreign land to marry the man of their dreams all whilst attaining money for their families?

Simply put, this is the lesser of two evils. These sites promise young women that they will fly to an exciting Western Country where they will become the blushing bride of a dashing man who will affectionately offer his protection. Since there has been an augmentation to such sites, there must inevitably be a greater demand and we Westerners are to blame.

Why have mail order bride sites become so popular in the West? For some lonely hearts in England alone, they have tried everything in their power to find their soul mate and to no avail. This may be why they turn to such websites in order to find a suitable woman to start a family with. It is worth noting that some men are aware that certain women are raised to be completely subservient to their husband’s command which is something they may be enthralled by. Taking all of this into account, even more questions are raised. For example, once the bride has arrived in England, can her relationship with her ‘husband’ be even deemed in terms of love?

Unfortunately, ‘happy endings’ in these cases are few and far between. Men who utilise such sites are liable to be scammed, often paying money yet never receiving their ‘dream bride’ and the women in such sites are even more vulnerable to countless problems. Firstly, it is mandatory for all women who wish to become mail order brides to receive background checks whilst the men who ‘purchase’ them are not required to do so. How can companies willingly sell off a single woman without knowing if her future spouse will even be capable of looking after her basic needs? In essence, women are being handed over to complete strangers, who have the potential to cause them great harm. As a result, there have been many cases where hopeful young women have flown to a brutal death at the hands of their ‘loving husbands’ who can easily carry out atrocities such as domestic abuse behind closed doors. In more common instances, many women become alienated in their new countries. With no support, contact with family or even extensive knowledge of the language, they become prisoners in their own homes. In extreme cases, where women have no other way out, this could lead to suicide.

With this knowledge at hand, I do not believe we can call this system anything else but a diluted version of human-trafficking. Thousands of women are being transported into lifestyles of middle-class misery in which they can’t escape. It is also the ultimate form of commodification since these women are literally being shipped abroad for the convenience of men under the guise of a happier life. People may use these sites for a reason as ‘innocent’ as being drawn to the spontaneity of taking on a spouse who is a stranger or for dour motives however, this issue has been neglected for too long. Although I can’t foresee such websites being banned in the future, I do believe that there should be a greater awareness of them especially amongst our society. There should also be more support groups for women who have been affiliated with these sites in any way both especially in England. Giving these women a life outside their marital prisons by allowing them to mingle with the community as well as other women in similar situations would reduce suicide rates amongst mail order brides and giving them an education would further empower them. Lastly, there should be tighter regulations on the men who wish to purchase a bride such as multiple background and psychological tests.

Ultimately, I think that these sites speak volumes about our society in this day and age. With the advancement of technology, we have been able to push capitalism to such a level that women can now be exchanged as easily as online goods. I feel that marriages should be centred on love and human connections, not on calculations. Does it not defeat the essence of our humanity if we then decide to use machines to decide whom we shall share our lives with?