I was on my local high street the other day getting ready to withdraw some cash from the cash point when I heard loud shouting behind me, I turned round expecting to see two grown men just about to have a punch up. The shouting was coming from a man who was shouting at a 9 or 10 year old boy who was standing with his mum. From what was being said and the body language of the individuals you could see that the man doing the shouting was the mother’s boyfriend/ partner but not the biological father of the young boy he was shouting at. The mother had placed a protective arm around the child’s shoulders but said nothing. The young boy simply hung his head down, you could see every word shouted over him was hitting him deeper and deeper. I got into my car very upset that the mother was able to stand there and do absolutely nothing! It made me start thinking about this article. I found myself asking how many of us men and women look for the mother or father of our children when choosing a life partner, or do we just look for OUR mate not thinking beyond ourselves? The Bible says “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Psalm 127:3-5 What an awesome priviledge to be able to play a role in shaping Destiny.

You see, finding the “one” isn’t simply about finding someone that will take the loneliness away. It is about finding someone to whom you can face every trial of life with, including raising children in a godly way. For those men and women that think it is okay to date an unsaved man or woman, let me ask you this question, what exactly do you want them to teach your children about God? With knife crime, teen pregnancies and gang violence on an all time high we need God to govern and protect our kids. The reality is compatability doesn’t stop at the way you look or the butterflies I feel in my stomach, the question I ask myself is what kind of provider will you be? What kind of Father will you be? Can you lead me spiritually? How does he react or respond to other peoples’ children when he is around them? Does he/she even like children? How does he/she react when a waiter forgets their order or when someone cuts them up on the road? You see there are always signs at the beginning, but you have to be looking to be able to see them. Our primary purpose is to pass God onto our children, it is our job to nurture them, protect them and teach them the ways of the living God.

Many people compromise on this because they want someone that will fill the void of loneliness regardless of the price attached. For all those single parents out there be very careful who you let into your children’s life. The man or woman you meet needs to know that they are not just dating you, but that they are taking on your childlren, if they are not happy with this, let them go. Remember what you compromise to gain you will eventually loose.

So before you give your heart away and swoon over the brightness of his smile or the beauty of her figure look a little bit closer and ask yourself what kind of mother/father do I think they will be, do I think my children will be raised in fear or with joy? Fast forward the next 15 years when you are maybe not in your prime, do you still see yourself and your family happy with the person you are choosing? You see children are for life not just for Christmas. They are shaped and moulded by us and when we stand before the throne room of God we will give an account for their lives. So don’t be like the woman I saw on the high street that stood by and allowed this man to verbally abuse her child for the sake of having someone to go home to, choose right and make sure the person you choose ticks every box including the heading marked “family”.