I received a phone call from a good friend the other day; this is how the conversation went.

Me: Hello
Caller: Hey honey
Me: Yea I’m good, what’s up hon.
Caller: Do you think I’m going to ever get married? I mean do you think I’m still going to be waiting at 50 just collecting cats along the way????

My friend is a beautiful 29 year old woman who by the way I do think is going to get married one day but the conversation we had that night sparked the inspiration behind this article. The advice I gave my friend that night was:

I believe you will meet someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with if you allow yourself to believe that is what you want. The bible clearly tells us that he will grant us the desires of our hearts (if we seek him first of course). The problem comes when we are in denial about what we really want. We pretend that we are okay with it just being me and Jesus and we confess as much. I don’t know about you but I always knew that I wanted to have kids and therefore that let me know I must want to get married one day. I didn’t actually want to get married as in plan every last detail; even book a venue. No mine was I got to the place that I knew I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I remember it so clearly, it was January 2008 in prayer meeting and I remember Pastor Douglas called everyone to the front and said say out loud one thing you want God to do for you. Without thinking I blurted out to God “I’m ready now, I’m ready to meet my husband, and I don’t want to be alone anymore”. As I said it I covered my mouth, angry with myself that of all the things I could have asked for I asked for that!

Why was I angry because I was perfectly happy with my singleness or so I thought? What came out that day was something that was a deep desire of my heart. I had the best friends a girl could ever ask for, I had a job that I loved, I had been on the most amazing holidays. I had an incredible family but without me even realising my heart knew what my head didn’t want to admit. I had a void that no one could or would ever fill except for the man that God had destined for me to marry. I met the man I am going to marry the following year and I truly believe a big part of me being in a position to lock destinies with him in the first place was for me to acknowledge that there was a void and I wanted it filled. This gave God the permission to go to work on my behalf. So unless you have the gift that Paul has the first step is honesty and openness with God of the true desires of our hearts.

The second piece of advice I gave her is I asked her if she would date her if she wasn’t her. She thought about it for a moment and then laughed and said “yes, yes I would” I asked her why, she said “because I’m funny, I’m smart, I’m fun to be around, and I’m a pretty good catch!” Without realising it she had answered her own question that she asked at the beginning of the conversation. So I will ask you now. If you weren’t you but you had the opportunity to meet you and date you would you be happy to? And why you? What is the thing that would make you want to spend the rest of your life with you? It’s a weird question right! But it’s one that all of us should be able to answer and answer confidently. The reality is some of us are just downright miserable and boring, apart from coming to church and work there is nothing else going on with us. If that’s you then it’s very simple, Get a life! Learn to have fun, laugh, grab life with both hands and take everything out of it possible. Don’t be content with ksarasara, take up a hobby, make some friends, have something to talk about other than what the message was about on Sunday. Life is a gift use it and learn to fall in love with yourself, you are way too fabulous not to!

And lastly have faith! God’s got you, he has not forgotten you, and he makes everything beautiful in its time. Don’t try and make it happen, make you happen he will do the rest!

You should smile every day, it automatically makes everything more beautiful!