“The sadness of the women's movement is that they don't allow the necessity of love. See, I don't personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed”. (Maya Angelou)

At the age of 28, soon to be 29, I find myself feeling more and more like an old soul, looking around at the world I live in and asking myself the question is this really what God had in mind when he created Eve, woman kind? Up until the 1950’s a woman’s place was in the home tending to the house, the needs of her husband and her children. A 50’s housewife took great pride in keeping herself smart to; she wore pretty dresses, had neat hair and perfectly applied make up.

In fact, I don’t need to go very far for an idea of what a real 1950’s housewife would have looked like, I just need to flick through the photo albums at my grandparents house to see my
rather beautiful grandmother standing with her perfectly nipped in waist, her billowing skirt and her neat hair.

My grandmother never had the luxury of staying at home and not working, as an Indian Jamaican immigrant, she along with my grandfather, worked hard to build a home and a life here in London. But she always managed to look like a lady, act like a lady and seemed to balance motherhood, being a wife, a friend and her career with the grace of a swan. Even now in her mid 70’s my grandmother is still flawlessly elegant and graceful. There have been many times that I’ve been out with my grandmother where I have heard her sigh or winch to her self when she sees girls prancing around half naked on the TV or when a girl walks past with what we will call a “muffin top” (this is where a girls jeans/ trousers are too tight pushing the fat in her middle up causing it to hang over the top of her jeans in what can only be described as an unsightly fashion). But it is not just the fashion that has changed for women since the 1950’s; in a recent survey conducted by a ‘Glamour’ magazine they give an insight into what it means to be a 21st Century woman. The average 28-year-old woman binge drinks on a weekly basis, she earns an average £25,000 a year in full-time employment with a view, one day, to running her own business, which 55% are determined to do. And the more she earns, it seems, the more she vigorously over-spends: 54% are in debt, 31% owe £10,000 or more, and 23% “couldn’t care less” about whatever form of debt they’re in.

Much of this debt, presumably, comes in the form of a shoe bill, yet the average young woman already owns 24 pairs, eight of which she never wears. Guilt over wastefulness, meanwhile, is a concept as foreign as ‘living within her means’ as 70% have blithely thrown away an item of clothing, having worn it only twice, while 65% regularly lie to their partners over buying new clothes in the first place!

Then, of course, there’s the nationwide fat controller: 50% are always on a diet; 19% have an eating disorder; 37% are considering cosmetic surgery; 16% of size 10s believe they are overweight; and 75% ‘worry’ about their looks fading with age; 57% of under 25s, meanwhile, are already use anti-ageing creams.

The average 28-year-old, apparently, is in her second serious relationship and has slept with six other men, one of whom was a colleague. And we need only look to the statistical third of women who lie about how many men they’ve slept with for the truth behind that previous statistic. But 11% of the under-25s, meanwhile, would sleep with a male boss for promotion, and 23% would sleep with someone old
enough to be their dad.

Now I know what you’re thinking, these statistics do not apply to the church, right? Wrong! The parallels are almost exactly the same; the average “Church girl” will think nothing of celebrating a birthday in a club, wearing an excessively short skirt or dress, “falling into sin” numerous times throughout the year with whichever guy she is “seeing” at the time. The average “church girl” has no idea of her bank balance and operates in as much covetousness and lack of self control as the world, when words like “submission” or “the woman’s role” are raised it sure to instigate a hearty debate. We are after all 21st Century woman. It is the Christian woman however that is demanding a divorce just like the world, but we mustn’t complain, this is what women burned their bras for in the 60’s right!?! So that we could stand equal to man; have equal rights; be 50-50, isn’t that the women we represent today?

We trudge around in clothes that are too tight, too baggy, representing so-called 21st century woman!

My question to everyone reading this article is this; what does God say about this whole “feminist movement”. Has anyone even asked him?

I think as Christian women we need to be very careful of what we adopt from this world and more importantly, what we pass on to our daughters and our sons. In my opinion there has been an eroding of a woman’s value and worth, so much so that we look to music videos and magazines for our sense of beauty and worth, we fight for our foolish pride and independence, the right to be right, instead of for the hearts of our fathers, our husbands, our daughters, our families, our homes. Do I think it is wrong for women to go out and work, to have dreams, to run their own businesses? No!! There is nothing I love more than to see another woman doing well for herself, but it should never be at the neglect of what God purposed and created her for, and that was to be a help-mate to her husband and a nurturer for her children. A wise friend of mine once told me that a wise woman needs to know what’s primary and know what’s secondary. When you stand before God one day, he will question you on what it was HE primarily called you to do.

He called you woman. He gave you the power that comes with being a woman. You will have to answer the question: “What did you use that power for?” And for those of us that are still not married the Bible clearly instructs us that our desire is to be unto the Lord, tending on him, waiting on him. Wives see the bigger picture, you are supposed to stand alongside your husband helping to meet the vision God has placed on his heart. When you catch this revelation it will not be a struggle to not buy another dress this month because you know we are saving to buy a two bedroom instead of a one bedroom.

I am not saying that we should all hang up our car keys, quit our jobs, sit around waiting for someone to marry us, start setting our hair and walk around in high heels, or live attached to the kitchen sink; I do however feel that the “21st” century woman has dangerously moved away from what God’s original plan was when he first created Eve.

To build a Christian home and a Christian family is not weakness it is strength. I know when I have my daughter I will teach her strength but I will also teach her service, I will let her run free and play but she will learn to do that whilst still conducting herself like a lady, I will teach her etiquette, I will teach her manners, I will teach her to love, serve, revere and fear God and let her know one day she will need to be able to love, serve and reverence a man, I will teach her to be a pillar and a cushion, and I will let her know the amazing power that God has placed in her as a woman. I will teach her to celebrate every line, every curve that God has created, but most importantly I will make sure she builds her view of what a woman is on what God says. I don’t want to be a 21st Century woman, I want to be a Godly woman, and I don’t think it would hurt either to take a leaf out of the incredible women that have walked before me, like my mother and grandmother. Maybe I could laugh just a little bit quieter, sit a little bit straighter and allow myself to be what God originally intended, captivating.

What say you, Eve?

By Sarah-Jane Goodman