'Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established'
Proverbs 24:3 NKJV
What does the Word of God say concerning parenting?
What do you consider to be your goal as a parent?
What would it take to make you feel that you had been a success or a failure as a parent?
There are so many different ideas out there on how to parent; everyone has a different view point on the subject. The view point that we are going to look at is the biblical viewpoint from God’s perspective.
Proverbs 22:6 says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.
The meaning of this particular scripture is to train by example, we are not just instructing them by what we say but we are training them through what they observe from us and from their environment. A child learns behaviour from what he/she sees.
If all they see is fighting and arguing then guess what they will learn to do when they are older? If they hear you cursing and swearing then they will learn to curse and swear. Children learn what they see and hear. The same can be said if they are observing Godly principles.
The problem that we have today is that the average parents some of who are no more than children themselves don’t have a clue when it comes to parenting. It amazes me how many new mothers don’t ask for help or advice about raising children, from my experience I have found new mum’s to be rather defensive when unsolicited advice is offered.
The problems that society is facing with the youth of today are a direct result of something lacking in their upbringing. If you are a parent or you plan to be in the future I want us to look at ways that we can raise Godly children that will be an asset to our society, secure in who they are and who have a relationship with God.
Let's start by establishing some rules:
- Enjoy your child or children they are a blessing from God.
- Children develop at different rates and in different ways so stop comparing them.
- Accept what you don’t like about them until God either changes them or teaches you unconditional, non-controlling love through them.
- Lighten up and take time to play with your children, play is healthy to the “normal” development of a child.
- Spend quality time with them and learn to listen to them.
I know that some of this may be challenging for you but if you will apply the principles that I share you will see a difference in your child/children.
Let’s Start By Setting Goals
If you are a parent, you must have goals, and you must work diligently toward reaching those goals. Goal number one, if you have children you must recognize that YOU are responsible to raise your children properly.
Too many parents simply don’t want to accept their responsibility. They expect others to raise their children for them.
Some fathers think they can just leave the children to the mothers to raise (or vice-versa). Some parents divorce and leave the home without realising the damage being done to their children. Some spend too much time away from home pursuing other interests. Some simply don’t bother.
FACT: You Brought These Children into the World, you are therefore responsible for them and that includes their behaviour!
When you participated in the act that produces children, you accepted the responsibility to care for any child that was conceived. Your children did not ask to come here. You brought them here. Now it’s your job to take care of them.
You may say that your child was “an accident” - you did not intend to conceive. But the fact is that, if you chose to participate in the act that resulted in a child, then you are responsible for that child.
The government did not bring your child into this world. You did. So don’t expect the government to raise your child. Likewise, for the church, the schools, the nursery, and your parents or relatives - none of
them brought your children into this world. You brought them here; now you take care of them. Caring for them properly must be your goal.
We can’t shirk our responsibility, we the parent are the ones that must do a good job to instil value, manners, good behaviour, respect and self worth into our children. I know it’s a pretty big goal to work on
but the rewards are worth it!
God Holds You Responsible for Raising Your Children
Titus 2:4, 5 - Admonishes the young women to love their children. Love requires caring for them. If we can’t provide love and affection for our children who else will? Love is such a powerful necessity in the life of every child because love builds self-confidence, selfesteem, security and all round well being.
Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers are commanded to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You cannot leave this up to others, including your wife (though, of course, she is responsible too).
You can’t shirk this duty or try to shift it to others your child needs to know that YOU love them.
Genesis 18:19 - God approved of Abraham, because he commanded his children to keep the way of the Lord. He did not leave this duty up to others.
1 Samuel 3:12-14 - On the other hand, when Eli’s sons became corrupt, God held Eli accountable. God rebuked Eli, not the schools or the government or even Eli’s wife.
Psalm 127:3 Children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
To be continued...
by Pastor Erica Goodman