When you talk to friends and family about difficulties you are having with your child, you will get a lot of different advice that can be very confusing.
The bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6 “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. As a rule training should begin from the moment they are born. An example of that is if you train your baby to be held in your arms for hours on end that’s what that baby will get used to and when you decide that you need to put the baby down to do other things that baby will cry the place down until you pick him up again. The reason is obvious you trained that child to love being held in your arms.
The same can be said of not teaching your child what is right behaviour and what is unacceptable behaviour. Children need to be nurtured and taught to know the difference between right and wrong from a very young age. However there are instances that can cause the most well trained child to act up or out of character. Children may misbehave because of family difficulties, such as bereavement, illness, divorce, remarriage, school problems, bullying, lack of confidence, problems with friends or brothers and sisters and such like. There may be medical problems such as ADHD or other rarer conditions. Bad behaviour can be a sign that something is wrong.
Whatever the reasons for bad behaviour, punishment is not always the answer. As a parent you need to know and understand your child. A lot of parents don’t take the time to really know their child and therefore are the last to pick up when something is wrong until it’s too late.
Take the time to know your child or children individually – know and learn their character so when they start acting out of character you pick up on it straight away before it escalates and becomes out of control.
Learn to talk to your child – some cultures would not bring themselves down to the child’s level to talk to them to find out what’s wrong. Talking to a child to find out what the problem is must be done not as a lecture or shouting session but in a way that will encourage that child to open up to you.
Learn to listen – you will learn a lot more if you will calm down and listen to what they have to say. It will give you the opportunity to get to the root of the problem so that you can deal with it Pray with your child – by praying with your child about the problem they are facing teaches them to involve God when they are facing difficulties and challenges and invites God into the situation.
Love and encouragement – the bible says that love never fails. Showing love, support and encouragement often changes the most difficult of children. Demonstrating love and encouragement to our child should be the easiest thing, yet for some parents it’s so hard. I want to encourage you to not let a day go by without you letting your child know that you love them, speak encouragement to them daily and watch how they will change.