There are so many different aspects to motherhood so each month we aim to discuss a new topic to get us all interacting with each other as mothers and as a church.

You are a good mum. A phrase you often here, right? Thought not!

If I were to ask you, are you a good mum; what would your answer be? Being as brutally honest as possible your answer may be... “Yes, but...“ followed by a few flaws and weaknesses. For some of us the answer may be “On a good day . ..” decorated with a defensive but convincing laugh. Others may answer “I try my best...” and sadly some may honestly respond simply with “no”.

Depending on the cultures, the social norm of the role of a mother can differ dramatically. With ever changing ideologies of family here in Britain the traditional homemaking mother seems to be slipping through our grasp. As Christian women we find ourselves wondering, “am I doing this right?”

With teenage pregnancy continuously rising, family relationships stretched to the limits, divorce is viewed as normal whist discipline has almost been banned. Society, as we know it is struggling to keep the sense of community. The media displays a spoon fed, ”super nanny” culture of being told what to do and how to run your life from external sources. I think it is time now more than ever to get back to basics. If God knows the number of hairs on our heads then surely God is the one with the answers to knowing what is best for our children.

Here in Britain, the word ‘normal’ barely exists when put into the context of the family; demonstrated by the variety of mothers. Some are older, some have completed their career, some are very young, whilst others still live with their own mothers. Some mothers are strict whilst others take the softer approach to discipline. There are professional mothers, single mothers and stay at home mothers. Dear mother, wherever you fit into this wide scale; whatever you do in your “spare” time, I’m sure you will agree motherhood is the longest running, least paid, most rewarding and important job you will ever do.

At some stage in our lives we all plan our life’s ‘to do’ list, whether done by making mental, written or just subconscious notes, there are things we all dream of achieving in this life. Similarly as mums we also plan to be the best mother we can, regardless of the circumstances. Sadly there are too many of us mums who make little preparation or realistic short term goals to put this desire into action. A big part of being a mother means sacrificing for your child’s best interests and well being. Let us look beyond the present and strive for the bigger picture. 1 Timothy 1:7 says “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline”. In order for us to reach any goals set, we have to stay strong and disciplined.

Last summer as part of a single mothers meeting, where Danni encouraged us to make a vision board of our dreams. The mothers used cut outs from magazines, drawings, photos etc of houses, jobs, dream destinations around the world. You often see adults asking children what would they like to be when they grow up; the reality is us ‘grown ups’ still need to continuously keep a check on who and what we want to become so we do not lose focus, 1 Timothy 4: 16 says “Watch your life and doctrine closely, persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers”. We have many things that play on our minds daily, so having visual stimulus of our dreams is a very good start in achieving behaviours and changing negative mindsets. The vision boards were a success, prompting us to discuss attainable plans with one another and encouraged us to set yearly goals as mothers. I personally thought about areas where I am not so good, where I need advice and what I could do more consistently. I wrote a plan for the year not only for myself, but also in terms of motherhood, stuck them on my bedroom wall and prayed over it.

Little instruction in tha Bible?

Do you feel that there is not much advice about parenting and motherhood in the Bible? Sure there are. The popular and frequently used Proverbs: “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not turn from it”, “spare the rod, and spoil the child”, “he who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him”. All relating to discipline, but what are we supposed to do with this and how do we do that? Well for starters, if God tells you to do something more than once, it is in your best interests to do it. Especially in the society we live in today, now is not a time to ignore what God has made very clear for us concerning disciplining our children. Without discipline, our children will know no boundaries and will lack self control amongst other things. If your child does not heed to your correction, instruction and respect your authority it will be extremely difficult for him/ her to fully love and respect God and people in general. A few years ago when I first started looking for direction in how to raise my children, I searched and searched through the Bible hoping to find at least a two page spread of instructions of how to raise godly children. The media is such a pivotal part of many Brit’s lives today, many are learning how to be parents via the television. Children are being raised by the television, so where does God fit in? Proverbs 3:5 says we should “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight”. Sometimes we can become complacent with Gods’ Word concerning parenting. We hear sermons week after week that can transform our lives and that of our children. We should study the Word and teach it to our children so that we can build faith in their hearts towards God.

Tamsym Moynihan