There is nothing new under the sun, says Ecclesiastes 1:9 this is certainly true of the nature-nurture debate, the modern for the ageless argument about the importance of learning in the development of the child. While one side argues that the development of the child is mainly a process of maturation, with learning playing no more than a supportive role, the other side maintains that learning determines the entire course of a child’s future.
King Solomon supported the nurture assumption when he stated in Proverbs 22:6 “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not turn from it.” Ephesians 6:4 also tells us “fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”. The French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, on the other hand, favoured a natural development of the child. In fact he wanted a child to be protected from the influences of society so that he can grow up as Nature intended him to be.
God designed mankind to be Nurtured by the parents to develop the characteristics necessary to live as an adult. We found some studies of feral children, these are children who were raised or kept in extreme isolation without human contact to Nurture them.
Probably the best known of such stories is that of the two girls Amala and Kamala, who were raised by a she-wolf. In 1920 the Reverend J.A Singh saw a mother wolf and cubs, two of which had long, matted hair and looked human. After considerable preparation and difficulties the two human looking creatures were captured. They turned out to be two girls whose ages were assessed by Singh to be about eight years and one and a half years respectively.
The girls were taken to an orphanage in Mindapore, India where the Reverend and his wife were stationed. Singh described them as “wolfish” in appearance and behaviour. They walked on all fours and had calluses on their knees and the palms of their hands. They were fond of raw meat and stole it when the occasion presented itself. They licked all liquids with their tongues and ate their food in a crouched position. Their tongues permanently hung out of their mouths and they panted like wolves. They never slept after midnight and prowled and howled at night. They could move very fast, just like squirrels, and it was difficult to overtake them. They shunned human society altogether. If approached, they made faces and sometimes bared their teeth. Their hearing was very acute and they could smell meat at a great distance. In September 1921 both girls became ill, and Amala, the younger, died.
At the age of 16, after nine years in the care of the orphanage, Kamala still had the mind of a three and a half year old. Kamala's progress was slow but eventually saw the gradual appearance of smiles and other sociable expressions on Kamala's face as the result of the loosening of rigid muscles. Due to the lack of human contact from her early years she failed to develop the core of her action-system which affected the organisation of her personality." In 1929, Kamala caught typhoid and died. Her last words to Singh's wife were said to have been: "Mama, the little one hurts."
When parents don’t take the time to Nurture their children those children grow up with anti-social behaviour and a lack or respect for authority. Our children may not be growing up in some jungle raised by wolves but if parents fail to nurture their children we will end up with a generation that are primitive and anti-social.
The emphasis therefore resides with the parents in that we have a responsibility from the time a child is born to nurture them and develop the skills that they need to interact with other human beings. Everything that a child eventually knows or can do must be learned. This of course excludes natural body functions, such as breathing as well as reflexes etc but everything else must be learned.
A child must learn to walk erect, to talk, to eat with a knife and fork, to catch a ball, to ride a bicycle, to swim, etc. The mastery of these skills does not fall from the sky. A child must also learn to sustain his attention, to listen when spoken to, to follow through on instructions given, to control his behaviour and to sit still and remain in his seat when the situation requires. These abilities which play a determining role in school success also do not happen automatically. The same applies to qualities such as friendliness, thankfulness, honesty, truthfulness, unselfishness and respect for authority. All these skills and qualities and many more must be learned for the child to eventually lead a happy and successful adult life.
Parents you are the most important educators. The road to childhood can be compared to a traveller who wants to travel from one place to another; but does not know the way. He therefore needs direction. If he receives the wrong directions he will never reach his destination. A child who enters this world is in exactly the same situation. He also has a destination, he must become a grown-up man or woman but he has no idea how to get there. Consequently, he needs to be directed by grown-up persons, who have already travelled along this route, and who therefore can lead him into adulthood.
The problem is that most people have come to identify the term “education” and “learning” only with schools and schooling. The school has grown from the modest institution it was in the nineteenth century to one that is blamed for all the ills of society and is seen as potentially capable of curing them. The schools function and influence have been extended, some would say over extended and therefore the school is exceedingly vulnerable to criticism. It is however very important to note that the whole of education does not take place in school. The school is especially responsible for the formal aspects of education, namely subject instructions, in order to provide society with an able workforce. The parents, on the other hand, are the primary educators of their child. And as the primary educator of their child, they have the greatest responsibility to direct their child to adulthood.
Being a parent is a tremendous privilege but it is also a tremendous responsibility. Therefore parents must make sure they are properly equipped for the task at hand because “The destination of a child lies in the hands of the parents”.
Pastor Erica Goodman