After a long period of living in the world, I started to experience emptiness in my life; I was doing ok generally, but something was missing. Having grown up in a Christian family, I knew that the “something” [or rather, someone] was God. I decided to go to church again on Sundays and immediately noticed that my emptiness was filled every Sunday. I came out of Service on a real high, ready to take on the world that was, until Monday arrived and my public courtship with worldly living took centre stage once again till Sunday. I won’t lie I loved my life at that time. The way I saw it, I was getting the best of both worlds: On the one hand I was getting my Holy Spirit top-up on Sunday, and the rest of the week I could do whatever I wanted.

This “shallow-water” Christian lifestyle suited me and I never integrated myself in the church by joining a ministry or contributed. I never really got beyond praise and worship or listening to the Word. I felt I was making a big effort by just attending. My attitude towards tithes/offerings was indifferent. Despite hearing every week about the importance of tithing, the message would always go in one ear and out the other. However, things were starting to happen in my life that caused frustration for me. My lifestyle was leaving me broke at the end of the month, my relationships were breaking down, and I was repeatedly being overlooked for promotion in my job. Financially, my precious savings were being drained, and I hit rock bottom when I couldn’t even spare a poor old lady a few pounds for her train ticket. I was so upset that day; I had a righteous indignation and decided enough was enough. Like the prodigal son, I’d reached a point of sheer desperation where I had nothing to lose – and I cried out to God for help.

The answer came to me during a sermon on tithing in Malachi 3: 8-11. My worldly wisdom had always said: “a bird in hand is worth two in the bush”, which basically means that money held now is more valuable than promises of financial blessings in the future which may never arrive. But this scripture was telling me that I should let go and trust God to keep his promises. I’d always been of the opinion that life was about choices - logical or illogical choices - and I’d tried to shape my life’s decisions around the logical ones (if any existed – otherwise the alternative was to do nothing). This made sense to me, as it meant that I always knew what I was doing, why I was doing it, and had some degree of control over my life. Anything which did not make sense to me was considered illogical. This concept of tithing was something I’d always considered to be illogical – how could it make sense to tithe when I hardly earned enough to cover my own needs? But my heart was convicted that day and, against all natural logic, I made a decision to start tithing. I did this once a month, giving what I could initially, but always contributing offerings as my heart was led. In my mind, I felt I was investing in the Kingdom of God, and it would just be a matter of time for my breakthrough to materialize. So I waited. And waited. And waited...

There comes a point where you’ve waited so long you start to say things like “maybe I’m not supposed to be blessed (like others)”, or you read passages like Hebrews 11: 37-39 and think oh-oh. In my case, I passed this point and actually forgot about the promise I’d been holding onto. But when the breakthrough arrived 18 months later, it was so spectacular I knew it could only be God. There have been many blessings since that time but I’ll only summarize a few here: In the past 15 months, I’ve had only two job interviews and got both jobs – which effectively amounted to two promotions; I’ve tripled my salary; I not only recovered my losses incurred during the financial crisis, but have saved significant amounts as well; I’ve been blessed with good health; I received an unexpected inheritance a day after Pastor prophesied it during our fast in January; I’ve learned forgiveness – reconciling broken relationships, and gaining new important ones; But most importantly, I’ve grown spiritually and have my own relationship with God, whom I seek daily.

The bottom line is this, I had to overcome my internal accountant and trust God with my finances. I am now in a place of contentment where I no longer tithe out of obligation. I simply see myself as giving back to God out of what he’s already given me. I always knew God could bless me, but I did not know if it was His will to bless me. It was. And it’s His will to bless all His children, since He says: “I know the thoughts I have toward you...

Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11). God has changed my life, and I am forever grateful to Him for His faithfulness.